Miles are miles. And if you think that one gets tired of starting over again and again, you're right. One of these days I will find a happy place. It seems like with every step forward, I take two backwards. Part of it is life.
This morning's run felt okay. I felt like I was going too fast from the beginning. My pace ranged from 9:50min/mi to 11min/mi. It should be closer to 11min/mi throughout. My attempt to slow down were thwarted by another round of oncoming rain. I did get my run in, mostly dry. And it's already finished for the day. Now I don't have to think about it and obsess over it and feel bad for myself that I didn't do it. That's what I've been doing for the last few weeks, and it has sucked!
Monday, September 16, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Full Crazy Downgraded to Half Crazy
Well, by this point you're probably wondering why I haven't been logging very many miles lately. You're also probably wondering how I'm going to run 26.2 miles in December. The short answer to the last question is... I'm not. It's been a struggle for me this entire year to hit the pavement running. Life happens.
The last time I felt okay about running was in late November of 2012. I had already crossed the finish line at the Bass Pro Fitness Cohick Half Marathon and I was gearing up for the St. Jude Memphis Half. I just remember wanting to get St. Jude finished with so that I wouldn't feel the pressure to run more. I regret pushing myself to that point. It was late in the fall and I was battling high ankle pain. I wasn't even sure if I could run another half, but I did! While it wasn't my best time, it was the best experience of any race that I've participated in. The pressure to log the miles, the anxiety of another race, and the stress on my body built up enough for me to not enjoy running as much as I used to.
It was most certainly time for a break. I needed it. But I didn't anticipate it would happen like this. I didn't want it to. And I'm finally realizing why it happened like this. I was so bored with life after moving back to Missouri from Oklahoma. Thankfully, my friend Leslie kept me entertained while I got back on my feet. While training for Joplin (my first half marathon), running is all I thought about. I wanted to run more and more and I wanted to experience the next step. I was running so much that I double dipped several times... running my normally scheduled training miles and then sneaking in a few more miles here and there. Race day finally came and I loved it.
I loved running so much that I didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted to take a short break and enjoy my summer and see how much I missed it. I miss it. A lot. And it's driving me crazy that I can't break this funk that I'm in. I've been on the very edge of breaking out of it a couple times, but it digs it's gnarly claws back in to me and pulls me back. I need help.
So, this dream is being shelved once again. One day....
The last time I felt okay about running was in late November of 2012. I had already crossed the finish line at the Bass Pro Fitness Cohick Half Marathon and I was gearing up for the St. Jude Memphis Half. I just remember wanting to get St. Jude finished with so that I wouldn't feel the pressure to run more. I regret pushing myself to that point. It was late in the fall and I was battling high ankle pain. I wasn't even sure if I could run another half, but I did! While it wasn't my best time, it was the best experience of any race that I've participated in. The pressure to log the miles, the anxiety of another race, and the stress on my body built up enough for me to not enjoy running as much as I used to.
It was most certainly time for a break. I needed it. But I didn't anticipate it would happen like this. I didn't want it to. And I'm finally realizing why it happened like this. I was so bored with life after moving back to Missouri from Oklahoma. Thankfully, my friend Leslie kept me entertained while I got back on my feet. While training for Joplin (my first half marathon), running is all I thought about. I wanted to run more and more and I wanted to experience the next step. I was running so much that I double dipped several times... running my normally scheduled training miles and then sneaking in a few more miles here and there. Race day finally came and I loved it.
I loved running so much that I didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted to take a short break and enjoy my summer and see how much I missed it. I miss it. A lot. And it's driving me crazy that I can't break this funk that I'm in. I've been on the very edge of breaking out of it a couple times, but it digs it's gnarly claws back in to me and pulls me back. I need help.
So, this dream is being shelved once again. One day....
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